2 AM
by lovetaker101
Summary: A few months after season 8. Sam never left and Jackie is hanging by a thread...songfic oneshot


I was watching this episode of Grey's Anatomy with a bomb and lots of drama and this song came on at the end. I was thinking about Jackie and Hyde (naturally) and this song was perfect so I ran to my computer to write it. It's really long, so grab some popcorn and enjoy!

* * *

2 AM

Nothing was right.

His hands weren't right. They didn't know her, they didn't make her moan. His eyes weren't right. They were so dark, too dark and they couldn't stop her heart like those piercing blue ones could. His voice wasn't right. So shaky and excited, it didn't soothe her, it didn't make any place feel like home. And his kiss wasn't right. It just…wasn't right.

Jackie grimaced as her boyfriend's hands unbuttoned her blouse, his eyes widening in glee with each fresh bit of skin that showed. He leaned his head closer to her, not seeming to notice how she backed away, and his lips were pressed against her neck. Fez pushed the shirt off her shoulders and moved his hands up her back to the clasp of her bra. He fumbled with it, fingers quavering, until he finally gave up, for the moment. Jackie sighed in relief. 'This isn't how it's supposed to be' she thought, 'He's supposed to be the one.' Fez lifted her up off the ground and carried her, groom-carrying-bride-into-the-bedroom style, across the small living room and into his room. She squeezed her eyes shut when he lay her on the bed and yanked off his own shirt. He stared down at her. It didn't make her feel sexy, like it did when someone else had done it.

"My goddess, you are so beautiful," he breathed before climbing on top of her. He captured her lips and she tried to enjoy it, tried to recall the memory of his kiss that had been so wonderful so long ago. But she had been kissed by others since then. Jackie squirmed slightly. He seemed to think that meant she was enjoying it, and smiled against her lips. She finally pulled away.

"Fez, could we slow-"

"I love the way you say my name, Jackie. It gives me needs." He gave her his stallion look, the one he thought was so sexy. Fez lifted himself off of her, but only to unbutton her jeans. He pulled them down swiftly, not bothering to take his time making her feel the friction of the rough material against her smooth skin.

Not that she was remembering the one who _did_ take his time.

Not that she was remembering the one who made sure she enjoyed herself as much as he did.

He stripped off his own pants, ones that could barely contain his erection. And of course they couldn't, because he finally had the woman he had admired from afar for so long. She wasn't far-off now, she was right here, on his bed. With here eyes shut tight, just hoping it would be quick.

But he chose not to notice that.

He lay down on top of her again and once more brought his hands to her back. The bra strap was stubborn, but Fez's needs eventually won the battle. The lacy material landed somewhere near the closet.

"Jackie, would you please take off your panties yourself, I need to find a condom," Fez asked, very politely, Jackie thought, but this wasn't exactly the time for politeness. He was supposed to have it planned out, with rose petals and candles and soft, romantic music. He wasn't supposed to ask her to undress herself while he went off to find some 'protection.' Which, of course, he needed, due to all the sluts he'd had on that bed just weeks before her. (Although, she had to admit Michael never would have bothered with the condom if Jackie hadn't forced him to.) But with a sigh, Jackie obliged, hoping that once they actually started, it wouldn't be that bad. It might even be good. But the sight of Fez frantically wrenching open all of his dresser drawers, heaving everything in them aside in his search for a condom, her hope finally ran out.

Jackie sat up quickly and wrapped herself with a sheet. She ran around the room and managed to pick up all of her clothes just as he turned around.

"Okay, I'm not sure if it's safe to use when there's all this fuzzy stuff on it, but-Jackie? What are you doing?"

"I can't do it, Fez."

He chuckled softly and shook his head. "Now, Jackie, I'm sure you can do it. It's not very hard. Well, for you anyway." He gestured to his midsection and chuckled slightly before continuing. "You've _done it_ before, after all. Or else Kelso and Hyde are just big fat liars," he said, slightly condescendingly.

"No, Fez, I mean I-" she stopped and rubbed her eyes with her fingers. "I can't do this with you," she said softly. The foreign boy smiled sadly in understanding. He turned around and searched through his dresser again, this time pulling out a pair of sweats. He put them on.

"Fez, I'm sorry I just-"

"It's okay, Jackie. I thought you might feel this way."

She stared at him in disbelief. "Then why did you do it? Why didn't you stop me?"

He ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't know. I guess I thought that, just one night with you would be better than never."

"But it _wouldn't_ be, Fez, don't you get it?" she said. His blank look said it all. And suddenly, she was trapped. The room was getting smaller, the sheet was tightening around her, and everything Jackie thought she wanted disappeared before her eyes, leaving only what she had lost.

_Steven _

Her breaths became shorter. "I have to go," she managed to get out before running from the room. She pulled her clothes on, grabbed a random pair of shoes by the door and burst out of the apartment.

The clock read 2 AM.

x

x

The phone was cold in her hand and she was shivering, but the plastic walls of the phone booth guarded her from the worst of the wind. With shaking fingers, she dialed the number she knew so well. A click sounded in Jackie's ear and a familiar voice followed.

"Hello?" Donna grumbled, clearly just awakening. With that one word, Jackie's tears finally fell. "Hey, what's wrong? Who is this?"

"It's, it's," her sobs were too strong now and she couldn't get anything more out.

"Jackie? Oh my God, what happened? Are you okay?" she asked, her voice now laced with concern instead of sleepiness.

"The, the corner of-" Jackie could hardly breath.

"Where, Jackie, where are you? Just say the street name, I'll be right there," Donna said quickly. Jackie cried even harder. Her best friend was finally back. Maybe a year too late, but better late than never.

"Main and fourth," she gasped.

"Okay, just stay there. I'll find you."

Jackie hung up the phone and made her way to the curb. She sat down and rested her head against her raised knees, waiting.

Donna finally came, her headlights breaking up the fog. She jumped out of the car and ran to the dark-haired girl, sobbing on the sidewalk. She wrapped her arms around her, letting the girl's head fall onto her shoulder. Donna murmured softly, words of comfort that did little to control the tears.

"I couldn't do it, Donna. I just couldn't do it, it was a mistake. I need to fix it, I don't love him, Donna, I don't," Jackie managed to choke out between sobs.

"I know, I know. It's okay now," Donna whispered, stroking her friend's hair. "You're okay."

x

x

Jackie awoke from a fitful sleep in a familiar room, with a familiar person asleep next to her. She smiled slightly at the bit of blonde hair poking out from under the comforter. A soft snoring was coming from the mound of blue that hid Donna. Jackie threw the covers off and tiptoed out of the room and down the stairs. The kitchen was empty, so Jackie poured herself a glass of water and drank it all at once. She had almost forgotten how dry your throat can get after a night of crying. Suddenly, she set the, now empty, glass down with a start.

"I haven't cried in a year," she said softly to herself, letting that detail sink in. Not in a year, not since Steven walked out of the hotel room in Chicago and into the arms of a stripper. She had cried herself to sleep that night, but not one tear had escaped her eyes since then. Jackie's head shot up when the door opened. Donna walked in, hair disheveled, clothes rumpled, and yawning widely.

"Morning," she grumbled, opening a cabinet and taking a cereal box down. "You feeling okay?"

"Better. Thanks for, you know. Being there."

"Of course I was there, Jackie. What did you think I would do, go back to sleep?" Donna tipped the box over a bowl and watched the little o's fall out.

"Well, I don't know. You haven't exactly been that great a friend this past year."

"What are you talking about?" the tall girl exclaimed, slamming a spoon onto the counter.

"Donna, come on. You invited the stripper to girl's night, you made friends with her. You didn't once ask me if I was okay, you were too busy trying to decide if Randy was worthy of taking Eric's place. Which you found out, he wasn't. I was alone this year. Don't try to defend yourself, because you know you weren't there for me. The only person who was was Fez. That's why I thought I loved him." Jackie rolled her eyes at Donna's shocked, and guilty, expression. "Hey, it's okay, I'm not mad anymore."

"I had no idea."

Jackie snorted. "Way to state the obvious."

"But I should have," Donna continued, completely ignoring her friend. "I should have known better than anyone that you needed me, that you shouldn't be with Fez, that,"

"Relax! It's fine. You didn't and you can't change that." She glance at the clock on the wall. "I should go, I need to talk to Fez." She stepped towards Donna and wrapped her arms around her. "It's really okay. You were there for me last night and that's all I needed, all right? It's okay." Jackie let go of her friend and walked out the door.

x

x

Jackie walked through the basement door and was met with four pairs of glaring eyes. Smoke was still drifting around the room.

"Hey. Can you guys leave for a minute? I have to talk to Fez in private."

Hyde glowered at her. "Why should we? Half of us live here. We're not gonna leave because you want us to, no matter how many tantrums you throw," he spat. Jackie sighed.

"Fine, whatever. Fez, can we talk?"

He studied her for a moment before shrugging. "Okay, fine." He stood up and the two of them walked up the stairs to the kitchen. They sat down at the table.

"I'm so sorry about last night, Fez. I should have told you a long time ago that I didn't feel that way about you, but I didn't. I wanted to believe I did so that it would be easier to fool myself into thinking I'd moved on from Steven, that I'd gotten over the way he hurt me. But I'm not okay, Fez. I'm not okay and you can't make me okay, no matter how much I want you to." She watched his eyes carefully, hoping he would forgive her. Whether or not she wanted him as a boyfriend, she needed him. He was the only person she could count on now. He smiled sadly.

"Don't apologize Jackie. There is nothing to forgive. I understand," he said. Jackie almost laughed out loud in relief. She reached out and took his hand. He didn't pull away.

"We're still friends, right?"

"Of course!" Fez eyed her suspiciously and stood up angrily. "Why, do you not want to be my friend anymore?"

Jackie furrowed her brow. "Fez, what the hell are you doing? Of course I still want to be your friend, that's what I'm saying you dillhole!"

"You call me a dillhole? Fine. Good day."

"Oh God, Fez,"

"I said good day!" he shouted before storming out. But he winked at her first. Jackie smiled. Kelso bounded into the kitchen and immediately opened the refrigerator.

"So, Jackie, are you and Fezzy okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine. Hey, why were you guys all pissed at me in the basement?"

"Oh, we were in a circle and Fez was telling us how you rejected him. He was all, 'Oh! Jackie's such a tease! Why won't she just fulfill my needs already?' You know, that kind of thing." He stood up carrying a jar of pickles. Jackie chuckled at what her ex had said. Some things never change. "And then the hot stripper came in from Hyde's room wearing nothing but a tube top and a mini skirt! And she _totally_ wasn't wearing any underwear! But then Hyde kicked me and Eric out." He frowned and walked into the living room. Jackie's smile fell. She blinked furiously when Donna walked in from the driveway, much more put together than she was before (although still wearing flannel).

"Hey. What's wrong?"

Jackie wiped her eyes. "I need to talk to Steven," she said and pushed herself out of the chair. Donna's eyes widened.

"Um, that's not a good idea, I just saw Eric and he said-"

But Jackie was already halfway down the stairs, completely frozen at the sight that met her eyes.

Hyde was pushed up against the wall, his shirt off, his belt being unbuckled by the barely-dressed bleached blonde whose lips were attached to his neck. His sunglasses were still on, but Jackie could tell his eyes were closed as he moaned her name, as his hands traveled across her almost-bare ass and up her top.

And then they opened. Hyde opened his eyes and they fell on Jackie, locked with her shocked ones as she stood above him. His hands stopped moving. Sam didn't notice. A small, shadow of a smile came across his face. Jackie spun around and almost plowed Donna over on her way back up the stairs.

If the world hadn't been spinning, maybe she would have noticed her friend's voice calling after her. If her empty stomach hadn't been hadn't been heaving, she might have felt the burst of fresh air that hit her face when she opened the sliding door. If the sight she had just witnessed wasn't burned into her mind taking over her senses, she would have winced in pain when she hit the ground. But Jackie didn't feel anything anymore. Any hope she'd had of forgiving the man she had once loved was gone. And the moment she realized this, Jackie began to cry.

And she knew Donna's arms couldn't comfort her this time.

She couldn't even breath anymore. She was gasping desperately for air while tears poured down her face, not even noticing when Donna jumped up and ran back to the house. Jackie only realized she had left when she came back and pressed a paper bag to her face. Donna took Jackie's hand in her own and used the other one to hold the bag to her face. It was a long time before the brunette finally clamed down enough to stop crying, but she was so exhausted, physically and emotionally, that she passed out in Donna's arms.

Hyde glared at Fez through the smoke, sitting across from him, eating from a bag of M&Ms, bitching about Jackie. About how she had been naked on his bed last night, about how he had gotten to touch her the way Hyde used to touch her. And it was all he could do to keep himself from jumping on the dark-skinned boy in front of him and pounding his face in until it was unrecognizable. It had been a long time since Hyde had felt this kind of anger. Hell, it had been a long time since he had felt this much, period. Funny how the woman who taught him to feel was the one that made him wish he didn't.

"And she was totally naked and I _just_ found a condom, when, oh no! Suddenly, she decides that I was not 'the one' after all. So she gets dressed and runs out of the apartment, leaving me to fulfill my needs myself!" Fez shook his head and shoved a fistful of M&Ms into his mouth. "Women."

"You know, she did that a few times with me, too," Kelso said as he played with a tangled slinky. "She got all hot and naked then yelled at me to get the hell out! Can you believe that, man?" He smiled goofily at the toy in his hands. "Dude, how great are slinkies!"

Eric laughed at his moronic friend's idiocy. "Didn't she kick you out because you were spying on her while she was taking a shower?"

Kelso rolled his eyes. "Whatever, man. She still got me all juiced up and left me to do the job myself! Now that's just cruel."

Eric laughed again. "Um, didn't you do it with Pam Macey that night?"

"You're missing the point, Eric!"

"The point is you two are complete morons who clearly weren't good enough in the sack for her to want to stick around," Hyde said, extremely irritated with the way they were talking about Jackie. Like she was a whore or something. Kelso scoffed.

"Whatever, man. She went from you to _Fez_. I wouldn't be talking."

Hyde punched Kelso in the arm. "Yeah, and she didn't actually do anything with him, did she?" he said, trying to be casual. Trying to pretend that the thought of her _doing_ anything with Fez made his skin crawl. And a split second before the door opened, he looked up.

Jackie stood in the doorway, looking even more beautiful than she had the day before. Hyde was on autopilot, not taking in anything she said or anything he said to her. He watched as she and Fez walked up the stairs.

"Hey, boys. How's it going?"

Hyde didn't notice that his wife had come into the main room, or that Kelso and Eric were drooling over her until she sat in his lap and ran her fingers up and down his chest.

"Maybe you two should leave. I want some alone time with my husband," she said huskily, bringing her hand a bit lower. Kelso stood up and stared openly at her chest.

"Are you sure you're not into threesomes?" he asked hopefully. Hyde rolled his eyes.

"Even if she was, why the hell would you wanna do it with her _and_ me?" Kelso's face immediately contorted.

"Never mind," he said quickly and ran out the door after Eric.

"God, Hyde, it's so sexy when you do that," Sam whispered in his ear before she licked it. Hyde tried not to grimace. Some things that he used to think were sexy were turning into the moves of a bad porno film. Things like an almost-naked stripper licking his ear.

She stood up and grabbed his hand, waiting for him to follow. He did, but not very enthusiastically. He was already predicting what she would do next. 'I'll get pushed up against the wall,' he thought. She did. 'My shirts coming off in three, two, one,' It landed on the back of the couch. 'And now for the hickie.' The blonde attacked his neck with her lips and reached down to his belt.

"Some things," he murmured with his eyes closed. His hands moved up and down her torso mechanically and he tried to imagine someone much smaller was underneath them. But he didn't have to imagine when he opened his eyes and saw her watching him from the stairs. He smiled slightly, and Sam felt a little better now that her face had been replaced. But the smile slipped at the pain in Jackie's eyes. And he knew, more than anything he had known his whole life.

She was broken.

She was already up the stairs when he pushed Sam off of him. She wouldn't hear him yelling at her to get out, that she had never been anything to him. She wouldn't see him put his shirt back on, knocking off his glasses in the process. She wouldn't see the shocked look on Sam's face.

Jackie was gone.

Hyde ran up the stairs just in time to see Jackie fallen on the driveway. He was about to run over to her when Donna came out of the kitchen door and saw him, clearly telling him with her hate-filled eyes to stay away. He watched the girls for several minutes until Jackie finally fell asleep to the sound of the blonde's murmuring.

"Breath," she said softly, "Just breath."

Donna put an arm around her waist and lifted her up. She managed to half carry, half drag her across the driveway to her own house. Hyde followed them.

"Donna, lemme help you," he said softly. She didn't stop.

"Hyde, you have no idea how close I am to doing severe bodily harm to you right now, so just stay the hell away, okay?"

Hyde ignored the request. "Hey, I don't know what you're so pissed about, but-"

Donna spun around and faced him. "You don't know? You don't _know_?" She gestured to the limp body in her arms. "You did this to her! She thought you loved her and look what you did! I've never seen anything like this before, Hyde. She's dead. Maybe she's still breathing, and still talking, but she's empty inside. She's dead and you killed her. And I didn't do one fucking thing to stop it." Donna turned away from her lifelong friend and continued toward her house. Hyde didn't try to follow her this time.

x

x

Hyde saw the two beers in front of him and tried to decide which one to drink first. In his drunken haze, he realized that two at once would be much better than one at a time, so he reached out both of his hands. Only to see four of them.

"Whoa," he said with a chuckle. "When did this happen?"

'October.' His mind answered for him. 'October of last year. When everything was still okay.'

October was the last time he could remember being truly happy. He was with Jackie and she loved him and he didn't need anything else. But then winter came. And everything went to hell. Even after they got back together, neither of them was really happy. They were only together so they wouldn't be alone, for some temporary relief. And the one time she needed him to be there, the one time she needed him to abandon the zen, he failed her. He failed himself, too.

Hyde finally managed to grab the mug in front of him. 'Weird,' he thought. 'I could have sworn there were two.' Some would call him an alcoholic. He would pound on those 'some' until they changed their minds.

Because deep down, he knew they were right. Maybe he'd always been addicted. Maybe the only reason his liver hadn't already given out on him was because of those few years where his craving had changed from beer to Jackie. Maybe she'd saved his life without even knowing it.

"Well, if she did, I bet she regrets saving me now," he muttered.

The town knew something had changed with the infamous Steven Hyde. They had begun thinking of his life in three phases: pre-Jackie, Jackie, and post-Jackie. Everyone agreed that they were surprised at how different the pre-Jackie Hyde was from the one that was slumped on a bar stool, clutching a beer mug and scratching at his porn moustache. Everyone had expected him to turn into _someone_. Maybe not the someone who had owned his own record store and lived happily with a beautiful girlfriend, but everyone thought he might amount to something.

Everyone but himself.

The bartender poured him another beer, shaking his head. Hyde chugged it down. 'Well, at least Sam is finally gone,' he thought to himself. Not that it mattered anymore.

x

x

Jackie sat on her old cot and sipped a cup of hot chocolate, watching the blue mound of Donna rise and fall with every breath. She was empty. The warm drink wasn't melting the ice that had formed inside her small body. Nothing she saw was beautiful anymore. Colors were duller, smells were unexciting, and everything she touched seemed to be made of metal. The only thing she could see that had any vividness to it was that woman's hands all over Steven. Steven, enjoying it. Steven, hating her and loving her pain.

Jackie stood up, unable to take it anymore. She was numb, old and she needed to find him. She needed to know if he was happy. If he was happy that he finally accomplished something in his small, pathetic existence.

The complete and total destruction of the Jackie Burkhart that everybody used to know.

She was still wearing her clothes from two days ago. The old Jackie would have been disgusted, but the new, broken one was pleased. She could show him the final touches of the project he had been working on all those years, that was finally finished.

He was crossing the driveway when she saw him. He was pitiful, dragging himself along in that drunken way. And for the first time, she didn't care. For the first time, she didn't want to save him from himself.

She felt another layer of ice grow on her insides.

"Hyde," she called. He didn't turn around. "Hyde," she said louder, walking over to him. He turned his head.

"Jackie? Hey, baby, what's up?" he said, smiling. He placed a warm hand on her shoulder. But nothing was warm anymore.

"I'm not your baby, Hyde. We need to talk. Now." She led him into the Forman kitchen and sat him down at the table. Jackie opened the cupboards until she finally found some coffee and a coffee maker. She made a strong pot and set a cup down in front of him.

"Drink it all because we need to do this right now, and you need to be sober."

He obeyed, only because he was too tired and drunk to do anything else. And she smelled the same.

The clock read 2 AM.

x

x

They were sitting in the basement, him in his usual chair rubbing his forehead, and her in the lawn chair, studying him. The facial hair didn't work for him. He had a really handsome face if you looked hard enough, strong, but still with some softness. Which was, of course, hidden by the moustache.

"Did you like it?"

Hyde glanced over at Jackie, wondering what she meant. When he didn't say anything, she continued.

"Killing me."

He tried not to move his face in the slightest, tried to keep his zen intact. But his sunglasses had disappeared and her calmness was unnerving. She had turned into him.

"Jackie, come on. Stop being so dramatic. I didn't-"

"Would you just, for one minute, drop the stupid zen act, Hyde? It's not as cool as you seem to think it is. Just answer the question."

"Of course not. And I never meant to. I was just scared and angry and everything got out of control."

"You mean, the part where you married a Las Vegas stripper, is that when you lost control?" she asked coldly. She liked the surprise in his eyes. She liked that she could finally read him again.

"No, the part where I thought you had slept with Kelso in Chicago. The part where everything I thought I could trust, everything I had believed in was thrown back in my face. The part where I realized that the two and a half years I had spent with you were just a game. That's where I lost control."

"But it wasn't. It wasn't thrown back in your face, it wasn't a game to me."

"I didn't know that. I didn't, or I wouldn't have left at all. But you stopped believing in me and I couldn't take that." Jackie seemed confused.

"I never stopped believing in you. In fact, I still haven't, event though I know I should have."

"You left before I could give you an answer. You didn't think I would choose you, so you bailed."

"Well, maybe I was scared, too. We hadn't talked, really talked in months. I didn't know how you felt about me. I didn't even know if you were the same person you had been before. _That_ was the person I believed in. You were a stranger to me."

Hyde ran his fingers through his hair roughly. The headache wouldn't go away. "I wasn't a stranger, Jackie, I was just-"

"Yes you were. Do you even realize how different you had become? No one else could see it, because 'Hyde' was just the same, but Steven, my Steven, was gone. I was so scared of you because you weren't Steven anymore. And I knew that Hyde didn't care about me. Hyde would leave me without giving a damn. So I left first, hoping that my leaving would bring Steven back."

To anyone else, she would have sounded absolutely crazy, but Hyde understood. He always understood. Their language was a complex, emotional one that only they could speak. And though he had forgotten it for a while, it was coming back now, in bits and pieces. They didn't say anything for a while. He just watched her. He searched for that glow that she'd always had, that little bit of energy that made her Jackie. But it was gone.

And he had destroyed it.

"Was there a reason?" she asked suddenly.

"For what?"

"For asking her to stay instead of me?"

Hyde sighed. "Yeah. A bad one, but still a reason." She waited for him to continue. "When Sam walked in the door and said that we were married, the look on your face was, was…" he shook his head. "I don't even know what it was. All I knew was that I was the one who put it there and I hated myself for that. I asked her to stay because I knew that if I could put that look on your face once, I could do it again. I always make the same mistakes. And I decided that even if staying with Sam and treating you like crap would hurt you, at least it would keep you away from me. I was too scared to make her go. I was scared I would make you look like that again. You've always deserved better than me."

Jackie stared at him. He was surprised to see that she was angry. "Why the fuck do you always have to do that?" she yelled. Hyde jumped a little at the volume of her voice and the profanity that came out of her.

"What are you talking about? What do I always do?"

"You always feel sorry for yourself. You always say you'll never amount to anything, that you don't deserve anything, that you're not good enough. You are good enough, you moron!"

"Look around, Jackie! I live in my best friend's basement, my parents abandoned me twice, I hurt you, I hurt the best thing that ever happened to me! I'm _not_ good enough!"

"Yes you are. You _are_ good enough. The reason you ruin things, the reason you don't try is because you tell yourself you'll fail. You tell yourself you'll ruin things. But it doesn't have to be that way! You can change, you can do better! I know you can."

It was Hyde's turn to stare. "How the hell can you think that? After everything I've done, after everything I've screwed up, how can you tell me I can do better? After what I did to you?"

"Because somebody has to. And no one else believes you can."

She was amazing. She thought he was worth something. Even though he'd 'killed' her, she still thought he was worth something.

Which prompted him to take a chance, for the first time in his life.

"I'm guessing that, even though you think I can be happy you're not gonna take me back." She smiled sadly.

"You've always been the perceptive one of the group."

"But Jackie, I love you. I love you _so_ much. I know I messed things up so bad, but I can change, I can!"

"I know you can. Maybe you already have. But not for me. I can hardly stand to look at you anymore."

Hyde stood up and kneeled in front of her, desperate to make her see him. To hear the language they once had. "Please, baby, you _know_ I would do anything to take back everything I've done to hurt you."

"Would you, Hyde?" He winced at the bitterness in her voice, at the sound of his last name coming from her lips. "Would you do anything?"

"Of course I-"

"Would you kill Eric?"

Hyde gaped at her in shock. "What! I couldn't just- he's like my brother, I-"

She smirked at him. It didn't look right. "Isn't it easy to say you would do anything to go back when it's impossible to do?"

He didn't really know what to say to that. "Would you want me to kill him?" he asked hesitantly. For a moment, he didn't know how she would answer, that's how different she had become.

But then she rolled her eyes. "Of course not, you idiot. I was just trying to make a point." She still wouldn't look him in the eye. Hyde stood up slowly and collapsed onto the couch. He closed his eyes and rubbed them with his fingertips. Jackie watched him. They stayed like that for a long time. When his hand finally dropped back to his side, they both knew.

It was finished.

Jackie leaned towards him and tentatively took his hand. His eyes were squeezed shut, but he gripped her fingers like his life depended on it. Just that small bit of contact was enough.

"I don't know if I'm right, but I think Steven is still in there, somewhere. And when he's ready to come out, he'll make some woman very happy, okay? You don't need me," Jackie said, her voice trembling. Hyde nodded, eyes still shut tight.

"Yes I do," he whispered. The smallest tear appeared on his face, rolling down his cheek. She did her best to hold herself together.

"No, you don't. You're strong and you can be happy without me. And maybe I can learn to be happy without you."

Her fingers were screaming in pain, he was holing them so tight. But she was finally feeling again. Jackie stood up and pressed her palm against his cheek. Hyde leaned into her and covered her hand with his. She leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. Her hair brushed against his neck when she stood up. Reluctantly, he let go of her hands.

"Goodbye, Steven," she whispered, before turning around and leaving the basement. The door shut before she could hear him reply.

"Bye, Cherry."

He stood up and walked slowly to his room, leaving behind who he was and, hopefully, growing into someone that she could be proud of.

* * *

_2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,_

_"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,_

_I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"_

_Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes_

_Like they have any right at all to criticize,_

_Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason_

_'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable_

_And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table_

_No one can find the rewind button, girl._

_So cradle your head in your hands_

_And breathe... just breathe,_

_Oh breathe, just breathe _

_May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss_

_"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,_

_"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."_

_Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,_

_But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,_

_Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it._

_Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,_

_And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table._

_No one can find the rewind button, boys,_

_So cradle your head in your hands,_

_And breathe... just breathe,_

_Oh breathe, just breathe_

_There's a light at each end of this tunnel,_

_You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out_

_And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again_

_If you only try turning around._

_2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song_

_If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,_

_Threatening the life it belongs to_

_And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd_

_Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud_

_And I know that you'll use them, however you want to_

_But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,_

_And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table_

_No one can find the rewind button now_

_Sing it if you understand._

_and breathe, just breathe_

_whoa breathe, just breathe,_

_Oh breathe, just breathe,_

_Oh breathe, just breathe. _

Breath (2 AM)

Anna Nalick

* * *

Yeah, I know. It's a sad one. Pretty please review!!! 

And I got the idea for Jackie's nickname from The Breakfast Club because I couldn't think of anything else.


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